The Amazing Spider-Man: Preview and Predictions

The Amazing Spider-Man comes to theaters July 3rd to hopefully rejuvenate the series, because I can’t handle another failure.

I think we can all agree that we have been burned by Spider-man in the past. Sam Raimi’s initial web-slinging jaunt into the theaters raised our hopes slightly for our favorite wall-crawler. But the light grew continuously dimmer over the course of two more movies, as Spider-man was brutally curb-stomped by bad acting and horrendous dialogue, and the comic fans weeped over the unnecessary abuse of the canon. With our hopes dashed, our dreams broken and missing teeth, is there any hope for our friendly neighborhood Spider-man? Is it worth raising them once again for the reboot, The Amazing Spider-Man?

If I had to go off cast alone, I would say that The Amazing Spider-Man will be much better. Andrew Garfield has shown some great acting talent in the past with movies like The Social Network, but has easily gained esteem for me just by showing up in a couple episodes of Doctor Who. I know I shouldn’t be so quick to dole out praise, but come on, it’s Doctor Who. Garfield has a scrawny, lankiness that is more fitting than the Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man, but most importantly, he seems to have a wittiness in his delivery that truly sells Spider-Man’s iconic banter.

Peter Parker has always been a nerd, but a confident nerd, who wittily and incessantly, to their open annoyance, jabs at his opponents and Tobey Maguire always seemed too sheepish and timid with his lines to pull this off. Let’s face it, Garfield is much better looking too, I still can’t shake that horrifying face on Maguire when he stops the train in Spider-Man 2.

Why do they ever let him take his mask off?

My number one hope for The Amazing Spider-Man though, is that they steer away from investing too much time into the love life of Peter Parker. Emma Stone plays Gwen Stacy, who in the comics was Peter Parker’s first love. I like the casting of Emma Stone, as she is one of my favorite actresses out there right now and she has shown a great acting range from critically acclaimed dramas such as The Help, to great comedies like Zombieland. Kirsten Dunst offered nothing to the previous Spider-Man movies with the exception of a massive amount of whining over a ludicrously large period of screen time. At least Emma Stone seems likable, so I won’t mind spending more time with her on screen.

I’m not sure how dark this reboot is shooting for, but I doubt they will kill off Gwen Stacy in this movie, but given that it is one of the main things she is known for in the comics, it is likely to happen eventually. The Lizard is not significant enough of a villain to do her in yet though, and if they stay true to the comics, it will be the Green Goblin.

I don’t particularly like The Lizard, but I do like the actor playing him, Rhys Ifans, which is a huge upgrade from Dylan Baker. Thank god they never actually got to the point of turning Baker into The Lizard, as he would have been the least intimidating villain ever. Ifans on the other hand, is creepy even when he is not a genetically augmented, reptilian monster. I am sure if he were to read this, it would hardly seem like a compliment, but there are some people who are just born to play villains.

I am exited, because it seems they are trying to be truer to the comics in this Spider-Man reboot. Spider-Man is by far my favorite super-hero, and I can’t take being hurt anymore. After the introduction and utter failure in Spider-Man 3 with Venom, my favorite villain, I won’t accept another bad movie. On the other hand, if this film fails, maybe Sony will remove its grimy little hands from Spider-Man and give someone else a go. Perhaps our hero could join Disney and be folded into the universe along with his other Marvel brethren, instead of being isolated and continually abused in the dark and dismal basement of Sony.

I am looking forward to The Amazing Spider-Man, as it seems to be learning from it’s predecessor’s mistakes, but we shall see. At least we won’t have to see anymore of this…

Cheer Up Buttercup

Or This…

Now I just want to punch in the face.

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Don’t Fail Me Prometheus!

It is rare to find anyone at this point who isn’t excited about the June 8th release of Prometheus. The only people I have met that were not excited about it, were unaware of it’s relation with Ridley Scott’s revered film Alien, at which point I quickly rectified.

Yes, for those that don’t know already, Prometheus is set to be a prequel to Sigourny Weaver’s flame-thrower wielding escapades, taking place nearly 3 decades prior, in 2085. Now whether any of the nightmare inducing Xenomorphs are to make an appearance in Prometheus is still up in the air, but the previews seem to hint toward it, or at least their origins within the universe.

This prospect makes me giddy with excitement, but it’s not like the Alien series has a perfect track record. In fact arguably, Alien and Aliens are the only two movies within the series to be looked on with any great favor. The films following, though entertaining at points, were convoluted messes  that seemed to exist merely for the paycheck rather than expanding the universe or narrative. Instead of the extension of an artfully terrifying imagination, they became more of a novelty act, especially with the Alien vs. Predator off-shoots.

Prometheus looks different though, and Ridley Scott is back behind the wheel as director. The previews alone rekindle that anxiety inducing isolation of Alien, with characters roaming vast, unexplored environments with little-to-no knowledge of what lies in the shadows. Panic stricken crew members teeter on the edge of sanity while attempting to solve an onslaught of daunting enigmas that hold their lives in the balance… in other words, “shit gets real.”

I honestly have to calm down about Prometheus. I find myself constantly trying to poke holes in it, because my expectations are at a level that no one would be able to meet. I don’t want to settle though, I know my standards are set impossibly high, but is it so wrong to dream? I don’t know how to cook, but is it wrong for me to expect food to taste good? Especially if the dish costs $250 Million to make, you love the ingredients and you know the chef is capable of greatness?

I am afraid of one thing in particular though. The Thing, which came out last year, on its own, was mediocre, but I enjoyed it because of how well it intertwined with the 1982 Kurt Russell film. It was a prequel, and I appreciated the intricacies and level of detail that connected the two movies. For those that never saw the 1982 film though, the 2011 Thing was just another run of the mill horror movie, and that is what I want Prometheus to avoid.

Regardless of it origins, I want it to stand strong independently. The expanded universe is just an element that you can incorporate to make a badass icing, but I am more concerned with the cake. I don’t want to have to tell people that you need to “see the movies” or “read the books” to really enjoy this film. History should enhance a story, but it shouldn’t be necessary for enjoyment.

Don’t Fail Me Prometheus!

Please! I’ll give you a billion imaginary dollars if you don’t. I’ll give you a stiff middle finger and the contempt of my bloodline for centuries to come if you do. I will abandon my fear of children just to spite you Prometheus… Just to spite you…

Avengers Review: Assemble!

On May 4th The Avengers will be gracing the silver screen and anticipation around the UNATION office has been high. Captain America, Hulk, Iron Man, Thor, Black Widow and Hawkeye team up with S.H.I.E.L.D. and Nick Fury to take down the threats to the world.

This is a scary prospect for a movie though. Within a comic book there is plenty of time that can be devoted to the development and growth of multiple Heroes, but it becomes difficult in movies when you only have a couple of hours to cover seven dynamic characters, not to mention an antagonist. There hasn’t been a comic book undertaking like this yet.

You may be thinking that the X-Men series has done this, but if you look at those movies you realize their main focus is usually between two or three characters and the rest are just secondary. Plus, the X-Men movies have never surpassed mediocrity, with X-Men Origins: Wolverine being one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Don’t get me wrong, I liked the first two movies, but I have never really heard anyone rave about them.

That has been my general experience with most Marvel movies. The first within a series tends to go over relatively well (X-Men, Iron Man, Spider-Man) but the sequels just get weaker and weaker. The Avengers is technically a sequel already and some of the source movies alone have been lackluster. Thor and Captain America were not met with any great acclaim and while I actually found Iron Man 2 to be more entertaining than the original, I know that from a story perspective, it was all over the place. Despite my distaste for the Hulk as a character, I actually enjoyed Edward Norton’s rendition, but as we all know, he didn’t join the cast of the Avengers, instead being replaced by Mark Ruffalo, who I have only seen in romantic comedies up until this point.

One of my biggest fears though, is that some of the lesser known Avengers will be overshadowed, Hawkeye in particular. Hawkeye is one of my favorite Marvel characters, but he doesn’t have any super-powers, just accuracy with a bow, which is extremely underwhelming next to a roster consisting of a super soldier, a god, a roid-rage monster and a flying, laser-beam shooting tank. The likeability of Hawkeye will consist almost solely on his personality which they have spent no time developing in the previous movies and I fear he will just seem unnecessary in the Avengers. Especially since Black Widow can pretty much do everything he can, except she’s played by Scarlett Johansson, so is he really going to be able to compete?

I want the Avengers to be great and many of us here at the office think it will be, but the pattern of Marvel movies has lead me to expect less.  Do I think it will be a bad movie? No, I think it will be a be an average C. The special effects and action will no doubt be amazing and the previews have already shown some witty spurts of dialogue, ideally with more to come, but with so many competing, strong leads, the story has a good chance of becoming convoluted and chaotic.

Despite all my inhibitions about the Avengers movie, I will still be there opening day, hoping to be pleasantly surprised.  And if not, well at least Marvel will get another chance to impress me with The Amazing Spider-Man.